India

Wifi is in and out at my hotel. It's lightly raining today but it's still warm enough to walk up and down the path to the north cliff. Ascending the stairs I come across a few than more and more little shops run by young I Dian women. They are quite pushy saying "come back later, do you promise?" then when I walk by their shop again they say "come inside now... You promised". I bought an ankle bracelet my first day here from a young girl only because she put it on me. I'll probably never wear it again. The beach and the cliffs are beautiful. The people very nice, saying hello and good morning. The food is amazing! I've never been fond of Indian food until I arrived in Mumbai and was served an Indian breakfast on the plane. I crave it now more than Thai food. There are street dogs roaming the beaches and the cliff. Some are wearing collars some not being claimed by anyone. The best Indian food I had was today for lunch. Overlooking the sea, I had the best vegetable curry while a cat curled up in my lap and fell asleep.
As I enjoy every minute of this trip, relishing in my freedom, breathing in culture and different smells, meeting people I normally wouldn't, waking up to the wonderful dull sounds of an elephant rumble in the distance and the ocean weaves breaking on the beach, my thoughts are still trying to make sense of the dull heartache I still have. I feel sometimes like I think constantly about it and the lies and promises. I don't even put his face to my feelings anymore because he is not real. The person he wants to be and pretends to be is a lie. I can't make sense of anything and my head keeps trying, like I'm walking through a maze trying to find my way out, every turn an unanswered question.it's a process of letting something, someone, go especially when you've already planned your future and then to have every word, every promise, be a lie. Something only to fill someones immediate emotional need, not thinking about the devastation by taking it all away again. It's confusing and unfair, when you trust someones words because they've convinced you of them. They would accept nothing less. "why don't you trust me?" "I need more from you". "it's different this time, I promise. I love you and life is never better without you". What kind of person can turn away from such emotion? When someone seems so sure and confident what kind of person willingly turns away with disbelief and doubt?
As I swim in the warm waters of the ocean and lay on the beach, not wondering about time or what day it is, remembering the mornings last week waking up to feed elephants, touching their rough skin and putting fruit in their trunks, I think about what could be better? What could replace this freedom, of me doing exactly what I want when I want? Nothing really. Why would I waste another moments thought on something that was not, is not real? Being present. It takes
practice. This is the time of my life.

Where to begin??

I'm back in Chiang Mai, laying in my bed listening to the people celebrating Sunday outside of my hotel window. It's Sunday and the streets are jammed full with people, mostly tourists, for the weekly walking market. I just finished up a week at the Elephant Nature Park, about 45 minutes outside of Chiang Mai.
I woke up last Monday and signed in at the park office a few blocks away from my hotel (Awanna House, thank you Tonya Kay). The office was full of about 25 people. After the paperwork had been signed and payment collected we were ushered to our vans waiting out front. As we were approaching the park, driving up a windy tree lined road we came across other elephants, not belonging to the Elephant Nature Park, walking on the street. They were there to give rides. It's their job to carry tourists on their backs, the seats pressing on their fragile spines all the while a man called a mahout sits on their neck holding a tool with a hook at the end. Some of these working elephants have their babies walking right next to them. These elephants are not the lucky ones and it's heartbreaking.
The story continues tomorrow....
I'm so tired I'm struggling for words.

More on Chaing Mai

It's Monday morning at 7:42. I was up at 6:00 and on and off throughout the night. I couldn't sleep from excitement. I'll be heading to the Elephant Nature Park this morning for 7 days. I'm sitting, quietly counting the minutes,drinking my Starbucks, waiting to walk to the office where my elephant journey begins. I doubt there is wifi there so blogging may be impossible. So far Chaing Mai has exceeded my expectations and I'm sure the park will as well.
Ok, I'm off! I can't wait!!

Chaing Mai

I'm in chaing Mai at a coffee shop. I'm using their wifi and everything that is written, normally in English, is in Thai. I'm poking buttons hoping I'm choosing the right one.
My hotel called Awana House seems to be smack dab in the middle of everything. It's serene and beautiful. The weather is very warm. There are a lot of tourists wandering around some aimless some with known destinations. I watch people walk back and forth with bags of stuff. It's Sunday so there's a market tonight where you can bargain and barter for just about anything. I have to be honest, I kind of wish I had a travel partner. There's a lot to talk about and ponder and discuss.
I'm taking advantage of the free wifi here because I don't know when I'll have it again. This is just to let my friends know I'm here and safe.
I haven't been able to attach any photos because my iPad is not picking up wifi. I will try and post from my phone.
Until next time...
Jess, how's The D Dog? I miss you both and I really wish you were here to experience this with me.

Bangkok

I'm sitting in the airport in Bangkok typing in my iPhone. My iPad won't pick up the wifi here and it's really frustrating. The coffee in Thailand is dark and gritty. Kind of like the city of Bangkok. I got in late last night and walk across the street from my hotel to a "sports bar". There are mobile type bar carts in the street with plastic tables and chairs, blasting rhianna and usher. Since it was close to 2:00 am I had a Heineken (did I even spell that right?)and walked back to my hotel. My room smelled like mold but it didn't stop me from getting sleep. J don't think I have jet lag. I'm feeling a little cloudy but maybe it's from this cold I got right before I left LA. In a few hours I'll be in chaing Mai and tomorrow morning I'll be on my way to the Elephant Nature Park.
More to come...
Oh yeah, the flooding did not affect Bangkok. I saw some sandbags but other than that the city is bone dry.

9 hours to go

I'm laying in bed thinking about the things I've packed, if I've packed enough, packed too little or forgot anything.  I'm also hoping I haven't caught my roommate's cold.  This is it.  I board a plane tomorrow at 11:37am that will take me to Tokyo then to Thailand.  My travel agent informed me that my plane is only half full so I'm crossing my fingers that means I get a whole row of seats to myself.  Someone also told me that alcohol is free on international flights, sitting by the wing you feel less turbulence and sometimes you can get bumped to first class if you ask real nice.
I'm excited and nervous and tired.  Goodnight for now.  See you in Thailand.